Tuesday, May 17, 2011

don't judge a post my its comments.

a couple weeks ago,
we had something real happen to us.
we watched a man attempt to set himself
on fire in the middle of a busy intersection.
what the?
okay, yes.

it all started with a seemingly mundane
bike ride to the local 7/11 to return a few redbox movies.
when we arrived, there was a crowd
of rather peculiar persons lingering in front of the store.
what the?
we of course thought nothing of the cocktail
of strange people. normal.
but it wasn't normal.
finally, we noticed a common feature they all shared.
mullets and cigarettes? no.
they were all staring in the direction
of the nearest intersection.

we joined the club and what did we see?
a man, standing in his underwear
drawing a circle around himself with lighter fluid.
what the?
then, with a little spray of WD-40,
he attempted to light himself on fire.
are we serious? incredibly.
as if the night could get any stranger.
(clearly, that means the night got stranger.)
the store clerk ran out from behind the counter
and joined the club (pretty elite by now),
all the while wailing about how the lighter fluid
and WD-40 was stolen.
hello, ma'am? don't care.

our slightly psychotic friend then ran from
his circle of flaming trust (ha. punny.) to the nearest dumpster
and started pulling wooden lighting crates out,
with an attempt to break them with
his overwhelming strength and underwhelming stupidity.

only then did our local police force arrive.
they chased down dr. pyro for about 100m
before blasting him with a taser.
yes, we watched him get tasered,
and yes, we watched him superman onto the blacktop.
what the?

luckily, the officers asked us to fill out a police report.

moral of the story?

1. that tingly feeling taylor b. gets in her knees
when she is supposed to bring a camera along?
she shouldn't blow it off.
sixth sense.

2. what the?

p.s. here are some phone images:

image 1 : us waiting for reports to fill out.
image 2: taylor o. with police car in background.

No comments:

Post a Comment